No song, no words to explain this.

I can't sleep or eat or even manage to get myself out of bed without feeling like this. With my gateway to music broken, I am left in silence and forced to listen to the voices in my head. Telling me this telling me that. One side telling me that I am a failure, that I am nothing but a broken piece of trash, unable to even look into a mirror without seeing some sort of failure. The other side is clouded. I used to live on the other side, where I could see my life clearly. Where I could get out of bed without feeling like this. Without having a loss for appetite. I keep lying to myself that I am okay, that no matter what, I'll be fine, but I guess to me, if I tell myself in my own voice, it is true. I can't even seemed to remember yesterday or the day before or even before that. It seems like a blur. Everything seems useless now. There are no words where I can truly explain how I feel, but I have failed the one thing that was asked of me. A simple thing, and I don't know what words could explain such feeling. So I guess I have lost. Checkmate.